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The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s bokeh Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by bokeh a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should offer to bokep perform an exorcism.

porn When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word bokep for crot caterwauling) crot to the receptionist the next morning, bokep she rolled her eyes and bokeh declared the woman an ‘actrice’, memek or bokep sex worker.

Now, porn according to this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, porn it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and crot bokep all men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, memek the greater the chance the orgasm is being crot faked. In other words, memek you can’t crot measure passion in terms of decibels: bokeh there’s bokep sex as performance art, bokep and crot sex as genuine intimacy. And crot when porn a crot woman is genuinely aroused, porn trusts her partner and memek is not fearing for memek a fragile male ego, memek she’s far more likely to gently sigh and bokeh moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in bokeh my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing bokeh The Erotic Review magazine, crot female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, porn they’d explain, bokeh so they could memek make their partner feel happy, memek while conserving their energy for porn other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all bokep about manners and bokeh ‘manipulation’, memek and bokep that women were bokeh prone to what they described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, bokeh so to speak.

A new study crot confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, bokep the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: porn ‘I’m enjoying this, bokeh but can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, bokep ladies?

The only crot other reason to screech like a demented hyena is if your sex memek education comes from porn, memek where loud always equals memek better.

As a crot woman from Sunderland crot said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: memek ‘As porn far as I’m concerned, crot bokep porn that’s what you should be doing.’

Well, bokeh only if you want to attract a bokeh certain kind of attention.

In their book, bokep Sex At Dawn, memek Christopher Ryan and porn Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were noisy during sex porn – based on observation of our crot nearest memek primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and bokeh keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, bokeh I can understand bokep the need to advertise. But if you’re not, crot then men should take heed: crot the best sex may bokep just porn be the quietest.